Condé Nast Strobes: Epileptic Seizures andDance Fever Paralyze Manhattan

Tonight's unveiling of new high-intensity marker strobes on the Condé Nast Building's 416-foot antenna mast induced widespread epileptic seisures and caused a spike in reported cases of disco fever throughout Manhattan and certain Brooklyn, Queens and New Jersey neighborhoods.

Actually, the annoying safety strobes are likely part of an FAA-approved dual-lighting tower marking system, which normally operates the familiar red blinking lights at night (when strobes annoy nearby residents) and the strobes by day (when the red lights would be easily missed by low-flying planes).

With any luck, the nighttime flashers are the result of a failed controller or stuck timer, and will be turned off before tonight's Friday Night Lights lead to Saturday Night Fever.